Sunday, May 20, 2012

Friends, Friendships, Love and Care

41 Years of living. How many more to go, only God knows.
 

I am sitting down at home now, when one thought suddenly strike me.  Friends that I have around me.  I just realise they are different... in many ways, but they are all connected to me.  How strange it sounds?   How logical is that?  How real?
I try to "categorise" the friends I have.  Yup.. I am no different in personal and professional life. Don't know whether to take this as my strength or weakness.
Always people say, friends are those who are there for you in bad in and in good time. I have to confirm that statement.  I experienced it first hand.
Now, I must say, I have friends I made when I was in elementary/ primary schools, friends whom I met when I was in secondary schools, in University, from work, and friends whom I have as part of my social gathering, friends of friends. I simply lost counts.  But they are all my friends.  I call them friends.
My father was an army.  So, when I was younger, my family always travel all over Malaysia.  As the result, I met with a lot of friends in my school days.  I attended 3 elementary/ primary schools, and 3 secondary/ high schools.  I have 2 friends whom I can declare as my closest and best friends back then.  Friends whom I shared all my secrets, my wishes, my hopes.  Thanks God, we still keep in touch until today. I met them again through Facebook.  You know who you are.  
I also have a bunch of friends whom I met when I stayed in a hostel.  I saw some of them form unbreakable friendships with each other.  Truly lovely to see.  Such strong bond formed when you were together since 13 years old. Though I was not one of them, but I am happy to acknowledge they are my friends too, not close, but friends nevertheless. There are some friends whom I keep in touch from high school.  
Thanks for keeping the friendship alive. Though virtually, we still keep in touch. 

When I entered University, I have one strong determination back then.  I took a Degree in Mathematics, with minor in Education, and English.  I am a certified teacher, but from day one, I vowed that I will never be a teacher.  I know who I am.  Though I know deep down I can be a good teacher, but it is simply not a field I can excel nor satisfied with.  So, I surrounded myself with positive thinking people.  Friends who can push me to be the best, and to improve myself further in order to achieve my targets. English was not one of my strongest point.  I was laughed at a few times, chuckled and smirked at because I was not good at it. But those chuckles, smugness, and arrogance were the exact reasons that lead me to succeed.  I have two closest friends, the person whom I can call my best friend back then.  The person with whom I shared my dreams and my ambition. Thanks God we still keep in touch as well until today.  We still know each other progress, marriages, kids, schools.  Wonderful feelings.  Even though the contacts were not as regular as I want to, but I know today if I raise my hands for help, they will run to offer me one. 

A day after I completed by final paper, I received a job offer which I accepted immediately. While my other friends were still enjoying their study break, I already started working, earning my first dime. Here, I met with a friend, through a friend.  She has become my best friend, the friend who always there for me, until today.  She was the anchor during my wedding, together with other friends.  Something I will never forget, for sure. Through her, I knew other friends who has become the best circle of friends I've ever encountered.  They welcome me so warmheartedly despite the fact I hardly knew them back then.  10 years on, we still keep in touch regularly with this group of great friends.  Amazing! As a direct result, I also brought into the same circle my good friend whom I met while I was working in a bank.  So, the family became bigger and greater. 

Then I have friends whom I met at work.  Some have become my good friends as well.  Still keep in touch, still care for each others.  
I worked in 3 different countries, with 4 different employers. Naturally, I have friends from all walk of life, different cultures, different beliefs, different countries.  I met with so many wonderful souls, lovely people, caring friends.  

I have two great friends from Down Under. We still keep in touch until today.  We continue to put effort to get in touch regularly, dropping in news every now and then.  Whenever I am back in Perth, I will try to meet up with them, tough  though, but still put the effort nevertheless.  Thanks on the friendship.  I really treasure it. 

Then when I moved back to Malaysia, to my pleasant surprise, a pilgrim to a big international company has opened up completely new doors to me.  I found out that my most satisfying friendship ever comes from my latest assignment abroad.  Working with a group of friends, how good does that sound to you?  But, that's exactly how I felt.  These are the people who not only provide support to me professionally, but also personally.  Their care are genuine, the friendship are warmth.   

Then the friends I made while lived abroad.  You are truly amazing.  I was just bedazzled by all of you.  The experience with the passing of my mum has shown me how great friends you are. Thank you! 
A friend who shared office with me for the past 2 years.  You are a good friend, hopefully we can still be after I leave the account.  Must keep in touch! 
I also met friends from my professional circle. 
A lovely lady in Stuttgart, an American who lives in Germany.  And another one; a Colombian who is also now an American. 
Then the lady who looks after my boss. She is just a wonderful soul.  
A friend who looks after another boss, another wonderful lady.  
My boss, such a great person, and a great friend too.  Caring and loving for sure.  
His fellow country man, also a great friend I have.  
I also have the pleasure to have my path cross with two friends, who used to be my direct report.  One who was so helpful and caring.  Who shed her tears when she knew I was leaving.  You are so wonderful. I thanks you all on your help and support.  The other one, we continue our friendship after she left the company. She drove for 1 hr just to express her condolences to me face to face. She baked a cake for my farewell too! Thank you dear! 
My professional friends, who now become my friends as well.  My direct reports, now turn to be friends.  Thanks on the friendship. 
When one abroad, we always tend to form a formidable friendship, somehow we are better united when we are out of our country.  So, I met these wonderful Malaysian friends as well. One in particular, who came to express her condolence, who came to wish me goodbye, who again invited me over to her house when she knew I was coming over.  Thank you to you. 

Wow, what a list of friends I have. 

I hope 1, 3, 5, 10 years down the road, we all can still turn back and think all the lovely memories, the great dos, the wonderful laughter and tears together.  I cannot imagine when someone told me, the person never has a friend. I simply cannot imagine if I don't have one! I am not sure that is the world I want to live in. So, thank you so much all for the offer of friendships, for taking me in as your friend, to be there for me in needs, in tears, in joys. 


Thank you... 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

My 2012 as I experienced It

Just returned from business trip - Netherlands. Can't sleep, jet lag is killing me... So, I decided to blog. Haven't had the opportunity to write for quite a while now.

Jan 2012

I called Jan 2012 as the most stressful period of my adult life. It tested the words endurance, patience and tolerance to a great length. This was the month when my family and I started our journey to return home, back to Malaysia.

Amidst the exhaustive never-ending effort in packing our stuff, personal items, furniture, I didn't have the luxury to take time off from work.

We also received plenty of farewell luncheons and dinners - kind gestures from friends. Thanks to you all.

Then the problem we faced with the landlord. OMG, what an experience. It also made me treasure the meaning of law and order. Our contract save our neck, for sure. With the advices from colleagues and friends, Sam and I took the careful steps, to ensure we leave the Netherlands with zero rotten bags. We did resolve this issue, using my experience as negotiator, the dispute resolved amicably.

Hey, do you know that we bought 5 cars!! Don't ask me why. Too long to tell. Mercedes Benz C1000 series 2003, renault ragoon 1999, Honda civic 2006, toyota estima 2001 and Toyota Camry 2008. The original intention is for Sam to kill his time since fixing cars is his expertise. So, we started with one car, bought damaged, fixed it, while the mini project was at near completion, the next car was acquired, and kept building one after another. 2 of them we wanted to bring back to Malaysia. Unfortunately, I did not have enough period staying abroad that entitle me with min tax. After recalculated the cost to bring back to Malaysia, we decided to sell all - simply not worthied. As we were nearing end of Jan, we have to sell all of them, desperately! Sam worked day and night to find buyers for the cars. We get rid of all except the Merc, still standing still in UK's garage.

Then the arrangement on the container, 40'. In 24 months, we have accumulated such amount of furniture!!
Unbelievable!! between me and Sam (for which Sam did most of the work), we managed to transfer the furniture to the container without help. You can imagine how exhausted it was.

Saalem, my son, was so disturbed by the move. He suffered in silent. He was so stressed, that on the last day of school, he had to be sent back home early because he had acute stomach ache. We were 5 hours away to our trip to Schipol Airport, but we had to rush him to GP. He was diagnosed with high level of acidity in his stomach, one of clear symptom of stress. My poor boy. I can only understand how he felt. And I promise myself, it will be the last move we make. The next move will be home, for good.

Feb 2012

The house hunting month. The adjustment month. The unpacking month. All in one!

When we arrived, we went straight to my hometown. To visit my mum's grave. The emotional journey from the airport to my hometown was unbearable. Too many regrets. Too many what-if. However, at least I know she was in peace now, no more pain.

We lived temporarily in my small apartment. The following 4 weeks was pure nightmare. Appointments, calls, onsite visits. We also on the hunt for a car, to transport us from one place to another. My dad had been kind enough to lend us his car while we look for one.

I can't believe how much the houses in Malaysia have appreciated since I left. OMG. Everything is soo expensive. We are forced to look for spacious house, knowing we will convert most of the space as a store room for our furniture. After nearly 4 weeks hunting, after experiencing one disappointment after another, we finally found the kind of house we were looking for. Not the best, but will do for now.

We hired 6 young men to help us offload our stuff - and it took only Sam and I to upload. Amazing!!

Saalem also had trouble adjusting in the new school, new place, new way of learning. Almost everyday he said that he wished he was not here, in Malaysia. He hated the school, he hated the subjects, he hated the teachers. Took me nearly a week to pet-talk him everyday, trying to pursuade him to give it a try. Promised him, after a month if he still didn't like the school, we will look for another one. Thanks God, on second week he found his good friend, and starts enjoying going to school. Though academically he still struggle to catch with the syllabus, but at least from social perspective, he is adjusting well.

I am also adjusting myself to a new way of working. I have to work to support Europen working hours, since all of my direct reports are located there. Pretty tough to adjust - took me nearly a month to be comfortable with the routine. Though I am allowed to work from home, being a "people" person, I make sure I am in the office at least 3 times a week. I need the social network as well to insert normality in my working hours. Though it meant working longer hours, mostly more than 10 hours a day, but I am happier and more satisfied this way. I also have a boss who is flexible and understanding. Which make the odd working hours easier to take. Not to forget my husband Sam, whose is being an understanding and supportive husband. Without these 2 key elements, my personal life will be in hell!

Mar 2012 and Apr 2012

Month for wedding of the year!

The exhaustion of moving country, and moving to a new rental house still there, but we were excited. The wedding which was planned for almost a year ago, was getting closer. As the father of the bride, Sam flew in 2 weeks earlier than Saalem and I. We can't leave earlier due to school days. Sam left early Mar, and we followed him 2 days before the big day!
The moment we arrived in Perth Airport, my son's first words "aahhh.. I am back in my country!". I have to chuckle with that statement. What a dramatic phrase. I think my beloved son can be a good actor.

I have not had real holiday since Apr 2011. The remaining of 2011 was a roller coaster to me. So, I was really looking forward to this break. And enjoyed it, I did. I was spoilt and pampered by my mother in law. Everything was taken care of. I had such a wonderful moment. The wedding was great. Meet again families that we have not met for more than a year. The warmth welcome, the stories, filling up gaps, you named it! I suddenly felt like VIP, received invitations for luncheons and dinners. I have to decline some, due to time constraints.

Without the stress of a working mother, I let all of my guards down, worry about nothing, and I do find out I do know how to have fun, something I forgot to do for a long time. Ahh.. the blessed of not having responsibilities, wish this vacation can go on forever.

A 4 weeks vacation passed so fast, I didn't realise time to go home was only a few days away. Saalem begged his sister and grandma, to hide him away so he didn't have to come back with us to Malaysia. Hmmm... not settling well for a mother to be informed that she was not needed anymore... aissshhh.. nevertheless, I understood my son's predicament. He has been known to be the "outsider" for too many occasions, for a long time. Being in Australia, he doesn't need to explain anymore. He is one of them, he is among the norm, he is home.

Managed to convince him to go back to Malaysia - finally.

I am thanking God everyday, for I am so lucky to have such a loving mother inlaw. Not a common stories, for sure. I remembered the tears from my mum's in law when we drove off her garage. Tears of sorrow to see us go.

May 2012

Not a happy month for me. A month full of nasty surprises, unbearable stress and pressure.

This is also a month where I made my final trip to Eindhoven, to select my successor, and to attend the rare meeting where all colleagues from other regions also attended this meeting. It was really nice to finally meet some faces whom I only knew from their voices. Who said having virtual teams are easy? I think it is the most challenging management style I've ever experienced.

I felt terribly sad having to leave the great colleagues, teams, and boss. But I made this choice, fully aware of the consequences. I am just hoping that one day our path will cross again. End of June 2012, I will finally step down from my current role. I am yet to know what will I do from Jul onwards. The unknown is remain the same. Job hunting continues, hopefully I will be steered into something equally wonderful job to do, if not better.

As the nasty surprises, something I have to deal with. Always things are not the way it was presented. No, it is not about my husband nor my son, in case you are wondering. None at all. But closer to home, needless to say.
I just hope I have enough strength to plough through this period and hope it will be over soon, I pray.

So, May is ending, June is coming. Early June will be greeted by my youngest brother wedding reception, the one we postponed due to my mum passed away. Thereafter, it will be less eventful. Looking forward to Ramadhan, and Hari Raya. Have not had the moment for the pass 2 years. Though this year will be difficult without my mum, but I do look forward to it.

The narration of first half 2012 ends here. I pray that second half of this year, it will be with more positivity and happiness, good health and wealth. Insyallah.. Amin..